All I Want Is You
by Staarchild
Summary: WARNING: REALLY BAD Evolved somewhat into Crystalline (another fic I wrote) Kept up only so I can read it an make me feel better about myself for improving :)
1. Le Realisation

**CHAPTER 1: LE REALISATION**

* * *

_I wanna fuck you hard_  
_I wanna feel you deep_  
_I wanna rock your body_  
_I wanna taste your sweet_

_I wanna fuck you hard_  
_I wanna feel you deep_  
_I wanna aah ahh_  
_I wanna aah ahh_

* * *

Never before has a song been so fitting for a situation. I was so goddamn horny, the evidence was poking out underneath my jeans. I'd been invited to a pool party at Johnny Smith's house – swimsuits everywhere. You bet I'd be in heaven, right? No. I pussied out of wearing my trunks. I didn't want them all to see my fat, naked torso, and also any signs of impending arousal would definitely be noticed sticking out of my swimming trunks. And somehow, me being 14 and all, my teenage hormones got the better of me when I saw all of these people in very little clothing. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Anyway, the only reason I'd been invited was because I was Ripp's little brother... as always, I get "brotherly priveleges". Ha! You mean tagging along to these parties to watch everyone getting smashed and snorting coke? Whatever. I'd rather have Tank giving me lessons on how to be, as he puts it, "a real man". When was gender decided by beating the crap out of a bag and crawling under a fucking net? It was only 2 days into summer vacation and already I had given up hope of a normal home life.

I pulled my shirt over my jeans, thankfull for the invention of long shirts. Disaster avoided. All I needed to do was stay sitting down and not look at anyone until my excitement had died down. Easier said than done, especially since I could hear someone coming right over to me. ShitshitshitshitshitSHIT. I heard a plate being placed next to me. Great. Probably Ripp coming to laugh at my boner. He'd probably say something like "I knew you're a pervert, just like your big brother" or some shit if he noticed. I heard a quiet voice, which certainly wasn't Ripp's.

"Y-you don't mind if I s-sit here... d-do you?"

I glanced up and my eyes met with Blair Hasegawa, the small kid who didn't talk much, was in my art class and got A+ grades in pretty much everything. He was quite short, with chocolate brown eyes. His black bangs were hanging in his face, and there was a long, neon blue streak of hair hanging down his left cheek. There was a piercing on his lip, and he was wearing thick, smudged eyeliner. He really did look like the people you only see on rock music videos or in animes.

"Oh! Umm, I'm B-Blair. Blair H-Hasegawa. I'm in your a-art class."

He held out his hand, so I shook it.

"I'm James Grunt, but you knew that already right." I said, then bluntly added, "Call me Buck and you die."

"Oh, O-OK. Y-You're pretty good at art, y-you know?"

I smiled at this boy. He was very shy, obviously, and he seemed to have a nervous stutter. He kept looking around, making sure nobody was looking at him. He was a rather intriguing individual, and I often found myself watching him in class. He saw me smiling at him and smiled back, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He sat down and started eating his burger.

"Oh, has Jill served the food?" I asked.

"J-Jill? You mean t-the girl at the grill? Uh, y-yeah." he answered with his mouth full.

"Yeah. What you got on your burger?" I asked awkwardly, trying to make conversation.

"Uh, c-cheese, and jalapenos, and p-pickles, chilli ketchup, and t-tabasco sauce." he answered again.

He likes it spicy, I guess. I looked at him confusedly, inwardly gagging at that combination.

"W-what are you having?" he asked me, swallowing his mouthful of nastyburger.

"Chicken burger. I'm not that into hamburgers. With tzatziki, of course. I hope Jill remembered to get some for me."

"T-Tzatziki?"

"It's very nice. I'll get you a little bit if you wanna try it."

I walked up to Jill, who was flipping burgers at the barbecue.

"Hey James! What do you want?" she asked in her usual perky voice.

"The usual, please."

"Oh, and I got you that tzatziki stuff you love!"

"Oh, can you put some in a bowl or something?"

"You ain't eating it on its own again are ya? That's gross!"

"No, actually, it's-"

"I'll go make you some!" she said before skipping away into the house.

I sighed. She was never calm. I plopped down onto a bench in the shade, away from the main party, thankfull that my little problem was now gone. I looked around the corner and saw Ripp diving into the pool, obviously tipsy. A crowd of girls, and Johnny, were laughing at him. No change there then. I sighed. I noticed Blair walking up to me.

"I, uh, noticed y-you came back here. I f-finished my burger." he mumbled, his eyes begging me to let him sit next to me.

"Oh, the nastyburger?" I replied, giggling.

I regretted saying that when for a split second I saw a depressed look flash into his eyes. I stopped laughing.

"I wasn't being mean. Come sit down." I said, trying to placate him.

Blair sighed and sat down. I noticed he had a scar, which started just by his right eye and cut across his nose bridge and under his bangs. I wondered how he got it.

"Has my hair blown or something?" he asked me, suddenly blunt.

I did a double take as I realised the tone of voice he was using.

"You've seen it. Don't pretend you're not staring at it."

"Seen what?" I asked confusedly.

"MY FUCKING SCAR!" he suddenly yelled.

I stared at Blair like he had three heads. He realised he had just had an outburst and his eyes widened. The look of depression flickered in his eyes, and stayed there as he looked away and hung his head. We sat for a few long minutes in silence, until I heard Jill call my name from the patio.

"That'll be my tzatziki." I mumbled awkwardly, standing up.

I felt a hand grab my wrist weakly.

"I-I'm sorry." Blair said, blushing.

I stared at him, and felt rather strange. It wasn't quite an awkward feeling, but I found myself unable to reply. I noticed tears about to spill from his eyes, and the red tint of his cheeks. He let go of my hand and ran towards the front of the house. I sighed, and decided to go after him.

"James you douchebag!" I heard a voice behind me shout.

Oh great. I'd kept Jill waiting. I turned around with my tail between my legs, awaiting my impending slap on the wrist. Literally. It didn't sting as much as it used to, but damn was Jill good at slapping people.

"I've just been running around the yard like a headless chicken with a chicken burger and a bowl of tzatziki in my hands on a very expensive platter! Why are you back here? Oh my god are you OK, you're bright red! Have you got heatstroke? Oh my god, I need to get ice! Come in with me!" she blabbed, all of the words bunching together thanks to her motor mouth.

Before my mind could even begin to decipher that high-pitched morse code I had just heard, I was being dragged into the Smith family home. I caught sight of myself in a large mirror in the main room and noticed that I was blushing for some unknown reason. I sat myself down on the couch and waited for Jill so I could ask her what the hell she was doing. I grabbed my burger from the coffee table and began to eat it. I was in heaven as soon as the creamy minty chicken goodness entered my mouth (if Ripp heard me say that I'd never hear the end of it). Needless to say, at around the third mouthfull Jill bounded down the stairs with... a first-aid kit.

"It said on Wikipedia you need to seek medical attention as soon as possible if you have heatstroke and I want to be a doctor so here is some... HeadOn, and um... butylscopolamine, and..." she babbled, rifling in the box and emerging from it now and then (cartoon-style) with some form of medication, as she said, "And naproxen! These are some helpful remedies for heatstroke, so you don't die and leave me all alone!"

When she was finished, I stared at the coffee table, dumbfounded. There was a neat line of several types of medication, of which I doubt any would save someone dying from heatstroke. I heard a laugh behind me.

"Oh Jilly-Jill, even I know butylscopolamine is for IBS, not sunstroke." Johnny sighed amusedly. "Oh, hey Buck!"

I glared daggers at him for calling me by my real name. He loves to wind me and Jill up, but he doesn't mean it in a nasty way. Johnny isn't really the nasty type, he's just snarky.

"You would know, you're in medical school! Have you been listening the whole time?!" Jill snapped.

"Yup. Had to get out of the yard. Ripp was about to ralph in the pool and I'm not taking responsibility for him again. No barf bucket duty for me, thanks very much. By the way, naproxen is for period pains, you should know that Jilly."

Jill glared at Johnny and cringed. I sighed. Woohoo, more arguments when we get home. Hip hip hooray.

"Oh for fuck's sake Dad's gonna flip." I mumbled.

"You can stay in the spare bedroom then, James! I'll go get it ready!" Jill chirped.

Jill hopped up the stairs, leaving me and Johnny alone in the main room. Everybody else was outside, so I had no trouble asking Johnny what I wanted to ask him. I hadn't gotten over that feeling I had felt for the first time earlier, and I had a suspicion what it was after thinking about it. I knew Johnny would know the answer – he was wise and helpful, and he was engaged to Ophelia, who lived at the creepy house with the creepy old Olive woman. As much as I hoped the feeling wasn't what I suspected it was... I needed to know.

"Johnny, can I ask you something?" I asked quietly.

"Ask away, James." he replied, his friendly, understanding green eyes looking into mine.

"...What does love feel like?"

* * *

**Looks like Buck- sorry,_ James_, might be in love~~~~~~**

**(hint: he_ is_)**

**Sorry for changing his name, but I really cannot stand the name Buck. I just think of buck teeth, which all of us Brits apparently have. Ripp sounds better though, and Tank... is a daddy's boy _extraordinare_.**

**So yep, this is like what happened when I played Strangetown :)**

**Strangetown is by far my favourite neighbourhood in The Sims 2. I deleted Pleasantview because I got bored of it and it went glitchy on me... again... and Veronaville... the houses are pretty, _that's it_, so I deleted that one too. Yes, I'm biased towards Strangetown, and besides a neighbourhood I made (Novaska... think Supernova/Alaska/Nebraska), it's the only one I play on. Strangetown, Here We Come MIGHT maybe have something to do with that ;)**

**How was my barfing of the story of Strangetown? Review s'il vous plait, etc. etc. and follow me on Twitter LaJepicOtaku (nearly 500 followers, W00P W00P!11) and sub me on Youtube and Tumblr at LaOtakuPurinsesu :D**

***~*~*SHAMELESS ADVERTISING FTMFW*~*~***

**The song at the beginning is Sexting by Blood on the Dance Floor**

**And yes, this whole story is named after a song (_how original_) because it's all I could think of (*hint* ALL I WANT IS YOU by JEDWARD *hint*) lol :P**

**Love y'all, danke xD**


	2. If Only I Could Turn Back Time

**CHAPTER 2: IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIME**

* * *

_If only I could turn back time_  
_If only I had said what I still hide_  
_If only I could turn back time_  
_I would stay for the night_

* * *

Insomnia is a bitch. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, which was illuminated by the lights on the patio shining into the room between a gap in the curtains. I glanced at my iPhone, sighing. 1:25am. I couldn't sleep. I can never sleep when I'm worried. Or scared. But that's it. I contemplated what Johnny had told me, hoping there was another reason, other than love. My ever-wonderful mind then reminded me that every single art class I have, I watch Blair like some stalker. Shitshitshit. I couldn't be gay, could I? My brain counter-acted again – I've never had any kind of feelings towards girls. Could this get any worse? Yes – my dad is a conservative, prejudiced, rascist general. I doubt he'd be accepting of me if I was gay. I'd be cast out; ignored like Ripp. Tank would beat the crap out of me for being a "freak" just like Ripp and those "green freaks" he and I hang out with. Typical daddy's boy, that's Tank. To some extent I guess I am too. Scared to set off Dad's temper, treading very lightly around the Grunt household. I doubt Blair's home life is as bad as mine... shit. I couldn't get him out of my head.

Daybreak dawned upon the Smith household, and I had finally managed to drift off, at about 4am. Jill, unable to cope with lie-ins thanks to her never-ending energy, bounded into the spare bedroom at precisely 7am.

"James! Get your lazy ass up! It's Saturday!" she chirped, drawing back the curtains so fast I thought they were going to rip.

"Jesus, Jill, can't I stay in bed?" I asked groggily.

"NO! I'm making blueberry pancakes!" she babbled, dragging me out of the bed by my wrists and pulling me down the stairs.

The smell of pancakes hit me as I bounced down the stairs like something from Tom and Jerry. Jenny Smith was sitting at the table, reading a magazine. She laughed rather loudly when she looked up and saw Jill drag me to the kitchen.

"Good morning, James." she said, smirking.

"Get her off me!" I shouted.

PT9, as we all called him, walked through the patio doors, tutting at the sudden commotion. He sighed when he saw Jill dragging me.

"Jill, let poor James go." he said.

All it took was her father's "persuasive eyes" to get Jill to do something. PT9's shiny black eyes were secretly very powerful weapons of persuasion. Jill let go of my wrists reluctantly and shuffled to the kitchen. I stood up, gave a thankfull nod to PT9, and followed Jill before she chewed me out. The smell was wonderful. Jill smiled at me as she tipped a pancake onto a plate.

"There's syrup and chocolate sauce on the table. Oh, I forgot you're strange, so here's the tzatziki." she said, holding out a plate of blueberry pancakes in one hand and a small bowl of tzatziki in the other.

"It's not strange! Tzatziki goes with everything!" I said, outraged.

"It's not that nice!" Jill replied.

"Oh Jilly-Jill, leave him. If Bucky here wants tzatziki on his pancakes, let him have some!" Johnny sighed, grabbing a handfull of blueberries.

"Those are for the pancakes!" Jill snapped, glaring daggers at Johnny.

"Oh, le chef extraordinare, miss Jilly-Jill here!" Johnny mocked.

Jill stuck her tongue out at her older brother at she poured more pancake mix into the pan. Johnny sneezed.

"NOT IN THE KITCHEN YOU DISEASED IDIOT!" Jill screeched.

"Be quiet Jill! It didn't get on the food!" Jenny snapped, peering over her magazine.

I sat down, shaking my head amusedly. The Smiths were the typical happy family. PT9 and Jenny were all loved up with 2 very clever and happy children, and as of last month a third on the way.

"Where's Ripp?" I asked.

"Oh, I sent him home after he produced le cocaine from his pocket, yet again." Johnny groaned.

I sighed. I didn't like it that Ripp was into drugs. Neither did Dad. He beat him after he found weed in the bushes outside. He was stupid enough to write "Property of Ripp Grunt, bitches" on the bag.

"James, mind if I try a mouthful? I've always wondered what tzatziki and pancakes taste like." Jenny smiled, clearly being her usual friendly self.

"Uh, sure." I replied.

I passed a piece of pancake to Jenny, who dipped it in the pot of tzatziki. She tasted it, and her eyes widened.

"I'm surprised! It's not too bad!" she said, surprisedly.

"Ewww!" Jill screeched from the kitchen.

I laughed and continued to eat my pancakes. Just then, Ripp came running in through the front door. I looked up and he was panting in my face.

"Has Dad flipped again?" I sighed, waiting for the usual.

Ripp just stared at me.

"... I might have burned the mac and cheese." he mumbled.

He grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside. The sight I saw was unlike any other. My brain functions slowed to nothing. There was a fire truck just down the road from us. I saw flames and smoke erupting from our house. Then everything went black.

* * *

I woke up in the Smith's living room, on the couch. Jill, Jenny, PT9, Johnny and Ripp were watching over me and worrying.

"Wh-what's going on? Did I pass out or something?" I asked groggily.

I looked at Ripp. For the first time since he was in high school, he looked sad. I knew something was seriously wrong. Everyone looked unusually somber. PT9 sighed deeply.

"... Your house burned down." he mumbled.

"What?" I asked.

"It's Dad... he couldn't get out in time..." Ripp said, trailing off.

"What do you mean, bro?" I asked again, confusedly.

"He's dead, James."

* * *

**PLOT TWIST!1111111**

**Seeing as this is based on what happened when I played The Sims 2, I decided to put it in. Basically Ripp put his mac and cheese lunch in the oven then went off and wathced TV. I only noticed this when I saw the kitchen in flames because I was tired and not really concentrating. Buzz, in all his heroicness, tried to put the fire out, but he got set on fire and died. Yep, very _very_ sad :'(**

**My story got 9 views in a day!1111 I got a review as well~~~~ thank you**** very much _Heart of the Wind 007_ :D**

**Also, I named this chapter after a song (Turn Back Time by Aqua), in true unimaginative style LOL. Even though it's about cheating on someone, I guess it can be used for James wishing he told his dad more stuff (like him being _possibly_ gay)**

**Thank you all for reading :)**

**Btw the picture I used for the story is actually Blair in my game, derping. He wasn't really mentioned in this chapter but trust me, his time is coming ;)**

**LOVE Y'ALL xD**


	3. Come Out Of Your Bubble

**CHAPTER 3: COME OUT OF YOUR BUBBLE**

* * *

Empty. That's how I felt. Curled up in the corner of my room, shivering, hoping that the barricade I made against the door worked. Surely Uncle Danny couldn't break in past my bed, a bookcase and a chair. I was so scared. I knew it was a bad idea to sneak out to that party, but I knew _he_ was going to be there. I just wanted to see him. At least this time I finally spoke to him, instead of watching him from the shadows. That turned out disastrously. My defense mechanisms kicked in and I ended up running away. Typical me. I just really don't want to explain to anyone how I got this scar. Even though similar things happen to me pretty much every day. Now Uncle Danny's pissed at me, I can tell, so the contents of my room are piled against the door. Another day without food for me, I guess. There is no way I'm going out there to be greeted with a fist to the face and a lecture about not sneaking out again and causing a worry for everyone.

It's always been like this, as long as I can remember. At least Uncle Danny is only a monster when I've done something bad or caused a worry, unlike the monsters I called my parents. I was raised by my alcoholic father for most of my childhood. I say "raised", by raised I mean watching him drink himself into a stupor, pimping prostitutes, dealing drugs and using me as a punching bag. Like his brother, my father had an awful temper, but he didn't control it at all. All I can remember of my mother is her taking a speedball in front of me then overdosing on it and dying. Everyone jokes about drugs at school, and I have to hide my tears, knowing that I watched my own mother kill herself with drugs as an infant. Then my father... he was found buried in a drainage ditch beside a highway when I was 14. Murder by blunt force to the skull, they said. Presumed to have been killed about 2 years earlier. The murderer was never found.

When my father disappeared, I was sent to live with my Uncle Danny and Aunt Lisa in Strangetown, Arizona. It was hard to adjust to live in a small town in the desert; I was used to living in a run-down part of Newark. I remember on the first day of school I made a promise to myself to stay quiet, and I have ever since. There would be parent-teacher-student meetings, and mine always ended with Uncle Danny yelling at me when we got home. Apparently it isn't normal to be silent and not want to talk to other people.

I heard a bang at the door. I froze.

"Open up, kid." I heard Uncle Danny say..

I shut my eyes and curled up even tighter. I heard an annoyed sigh.

"Look kid, I ain't gonna beat you or yell at you so open the damn door!" he grumbled.

He began trying to break in, so I pushed my bed and bookcase back and let him in. He was panting from the force he was using. I curled back up in the corner. He sighed again.

"Look, kid, stop causing a worry for us all, you hear me?" he said, kneeling so he was at my level.

I looked up, and he saw my pale, tear-streaked face.

"I know it's hard since Mark got killed, but stay strong, kid. Everyone else is." he said, taking my hand and pulling me up.

I looked away from Uncle Danny, knowing what he was going to ask. I decided I might as well be honest with him, because I deserve whatever reaction I get.

"Kid, where did you go yesterday?" he asked me softly.

"... The pool party at the Smith's house." I mumbled.

Uncle Danny looked at me confusedly. He turned my head to face him.

"Why? You hate being around lots of people." he asked.

"Someone... someone in my class I l-like was there..." I mumbled.

"You in love then, kid? What's her name then? I could get Lisa to hook you guys up." he asked.

"That's why I-I'm scared." I mumbled shakily.

"What is there to be scared of? Tell me her name." he replied, more insistent this time.

I began to shake again, and I felt my mouth going dry. I knew this needed to happen at some point, but please not now. I hated how persistent my uncle could be. I could see him getting impatient as I hesitated.

"J-James." I whispered.

"What?" Uncle Danny said.

"H-His name is James." I whispered again.

It was official. I had come out to someone. This wasn't OK. I was so scared. I saw Uncle Danny's eyes widen, before he walked out of my room. I slid back down the wall and curled up, crying.

* * *

I woke up to Aunt Lisa shaking me.

"God darn it, Blair! It's dinner time!" she snapped, slapping me around the face.

"Did I fall asleep?" I asked her.

She had already walked off, so I got up and ambled into the kitchen. Uncle Danny looked up at me, throwing me a wary glance. I sat down and was immediately greeted with homemade fried chicken and fries.

"I do it better than KFC, don't I Blair?" Aunt Lisa asked hopefully.

"Mmmmm, yeah!" I replied, taking a mouthful.

Dinner time was unusually awkward. My heart was thumping and my throat had a lump in it. My breathing was shaky and I kept avoiding looking at Uncle Danny's face. In the end he put down his knife and fork and told me to follow him. I reluctantly followed him in the study, where he locked the door and told me to sit on the chair.

"Is it true?" he asked insistently.

I gulped.

"Are you... _gay_?" he asked again.

I nodded slowly, looking out of the window. I heard Uncle Danny sigh.

"I knew you were, you know." he laughed awkwardly.

I looked at him confusedly.

"I know which James you're talking about. Lives in the house by the military checkpoint, right?"

I nodded.

"I saw the way you've looked at him before. I knew you had feelings for that boy. I just wanted you to tell me to my face. I'm not like your father, you know. I'm not going to beat you and cause a scene because you're... _gay_." he said, looking into my eyes.

"Why are you struggling to say that word then?" I mumbled, tears stinging my eyes.

Uncle Danny took a step back.

"You're just trying not to scare me, that's all. I don't need pity." I said flatly, my voice shaking.

"Look, kid. I've never known any people like you in my life, and I was raised to think it was wrong. But, I'm not gonna judge you for being who you are. I just need some time, that's all." Uncle Danny said, patting my shoulder before walking out of the room.

I sat in the chair, staring out of the window hopelessly. I heard talking. I slowly came out of the study and stood in the hallway, listening.

"Oh, I can't believe there was that big fire fire today." Aunt Lisa said.

"Yeah, it was pretty bad. I heard the fire trucks go by when I was painting the shed, and I came in and told you. Dunno where it was at but next thing people are saying it killed someone, and another person's missing." Uncle Danny sighed.

"Sarah from across the street said apparently it's the general who got killed. Probably trying to save someone from the fire." Aunt Lisa said, shaking her head.

"It was the general's house on fire, I think. It was close by there anyway." Uncle Danny said.

"Sarah said it was the Grunt's house." Aunt Lisa said.

I froze. Grunt – that was James' surname, wasn't it? I ran past the kitchen and out of the front door. I ran as fast as I could to the main road going through Strangetown. I saw a burnt-out house as I looked to my left, smouldering. I felt my legs grow weak as I fell to the ground. What if it was James that was missing? I couldn't stop the tears this time as they cascaded down my cheeks. What if... no. It was too much to bear. I couldn't lose James. I may only have spoken to him a couple of times, but I'd loved him since 7th grade, when I first came to Strangetown. I struggled to regain my composure as my mind tried to process everything that was going on. I stood up and ran, ran across the highway. All I remember was something hitting me, knocking the wind out of me, then darkness...

* * *

**OH NO!11111111**

**So yet another sad cliffhanger ending. This story will get happier as time goes on, don't worry :D it's the power of love~~~~~~~~~~**

**The intention is that their lives are shitty then IT GETS BETTER because we all need hope in our lives so yep :)**

**Anyway, I decided Strangetown is in Arizona because they have deserts there, and Newark, New Jersey is where Blair is originally from because Wikipedia said there is a lot of poverty there and he lived in bad conditions with an alcoholic father so yep, KASIA LOGIC.**

**Sorry if I got it deadly wrong though, I used Wikipedia as a reference because I've never been to America in my life LOL :P**


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